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   Give kids skills to repair relationships and situations.
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                  DIGITAL LITERACY &amp; WELL-BEING WEEKLY
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                  From Frenemies to Fixing Conflicts
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                      Erikk Henderson-Hood
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                      Education Content Manager
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                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                   Hi Anonymous,
                   <br/>
                   <br/>
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                   <strong>
                    "
                   </strong>
                   <strong>
                    <em>
                     Don't call me. Don't come by my house. We're done.
                    </em>
                   </strong>
                   <strong>
                    "
                   </strong>
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                   If you're a librarian or middle school teacher, you're likely familiar with the
                   <a style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="popular book, film, and TV series">
                    popular book, film, and TV series
                   </a>
                   <em>
                    Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
                   </em>
                   The character Rowley says the line above as he ends his friendship with main character Greg, after incidents that many would consider evidence of a toxic relationship.
                   <strong>
                    So why would Rowley ever want to repair his friendship with Greg? 🧐
                   </strong>
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                   When we think of harm, we often think of bullies, both online and offline. But so much drama comes from another source: friends. No matter the grade level(s) you teach, surely you've seen inside jokes that go too far, battles about where to sit, ruthless team selection, belittling others to get a laugh, etc. And the drama doesn't necessarily take place in person: It can start or continue in online spaces, too.
                   <strong>
                    Often, it hurts more when harm comes from our friends, sometimes resulting in a new status: frenemies.
                   </strong>
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0">
                   <br/>
                   Research tells us that "frenemies" is definitely a thing. If I had to pair
                   <em>
                    Diary of a Wimpy Kid
                   </em>
                   with a research article, I would select "
                   <a style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="With Friends Like These: Aggression from Amity and Equivalence">
                    With Friends Like These: Aggression from Amity and Equivalence
                   </a>
                   ," which has become a seminal work on middle schoolers and bullying. The researchers found that:
                  </p>
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                   <li aria-level="1" style="Margin:0 0 10px 0">
                    <strong>
                     Friendship is complicated:
                    </strong>
                    <em>
                     "...it seems likely that the friendship simultaneously contains both positive and negative elements…"
                    </em>
                   </li>
                   <li aria-level="1" style="Margin:0 0 10px 0">
                    <strong>
                     Toxic friendships impact mental health:
                    </strong>
                    <em>
                     "...we find that teens who are betrayed and attacked by their friends experience significant increases in anxiety and depression and significant declines in their attachments to school."
                    </em>
                   </li>
                   <li aria-level="1" style="Margin:0 0 10px 0">
                    <strong>
                     Maintaining friendships strengthens life goals
                    </strong>
                    :
                    <em>
                     "...youths who retain more friends over time develop stronger life goals and deprioritize status..."
                    </em>
                   </li>
                   <li aria-level="1" style="Margin:0 0 10px 0">
                    <strong>
                     Talking about repairing friendships is important
                    </strong>
                    :
                    <em>
                     "Our friends change us, aid and sustain us—indeed, they keep us alive. But they also hurt and betray us, at higher rates than others, and their cuts are deep."
                    </em>
                   </li>
                  </ul>
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                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                   <strong>
                    These complicated dynamics—especially as kids learn social skills—require us to think about
                   </strong>
                   <strong>
                    <em>
                     repair
                    </em>
                   </strong>
                   <strong>
                    . 🛠
                   </strong>
                   So in addition to
                   <a style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="Teachers' Essential Guide to Cyberbullying Prevention">
                    preventing
                   </a>
                   and
                   <a style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="De-escalating Online Harm">
                    de-escalating harm
                   </a>
                   , we can also help kids make things right when they sometimes go wrong.
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0">
                   What does that look like in a lesson? Here are some hands-on activities to try:
                  </p>
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               <tr>
                <td class="pad" style="padding-bottom:10px;padding-left:10px;padding-right:10px;padding-top:30px">
                 <div style="margin-left:-20px">
                  <ul start="1" style="margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;list-style-type:revert">
                   <li aria-level="1" style="Margin:0 0 10px 0">
                    It might mean reading scenarios to directly practice how to give a
                    <strong>
                     sincere apology…
                    </strong>
                    <div style="margin-left:0">
                     <ul style="margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;list-style-type:revert">
                      <li aria-level="1" style="Margin:10px 0 10px 0">
                       <a data-mce-attributes-count="1" style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="Sincere Apologies | Common Sense Education">
                        Sincere Apologies | Common Sense Education
                       </a>
                       (
                       <strong>
                        Grade 2)
                       </strong>
                      </li>
                     </ul>
                    </div>
                   </li>
                   <li aria-level="1" style="Margin:0 0 10px 0">
                    It might mean drawing comics to understand
                    <strong>
                     when a joke goes too far
                    </strong>
                    …
                    <div style="margin-left:0">
                     <ul style="margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;list-style-type:revert">
                      <li aria-level="1" style="Margin:10px 0 10px 0">
                       <a data-mce-attributes-count="1" style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="Is It Just a Joke? | Common Sense Education">
                        Is It Just a Joke? | Common Sense Education
                       </a>
                       (
                       <strong>
                        Grade 3
                       </strong>
                       )
                      </li>
                     </ul>
                    </div>
                   </li>
                   <li style="Margin:0 0 10px 0">
                    It might mean playing a "choose your own adventure" card game to
                    <strong>
                     mend a friendship
                    </strong>
                    …
                    <div style="margin-left:0">
                     <ul style="margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;list-style-type:revert">
                      <li style="Margin:10px 0 10px 0">
                       <a data-mce-attributes-count="1" style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="M.E.N.D.ing Friendships | Common Sense Education">
                        M.E.N.D.ing Friendships | Common Sense Education
                       </a>
                       (
                       <strong>
                        Grade 4)
                       </strong>
                      </li>
                     </ul>
                    </div>
                   </li>
                   <li style="Margin:0 0 10px 0">
                    It might mean playing a card game to
                    <strong>
                     recognize, repair, and rebuild friendships
                    </strong>
                    …
                    <div style="margin-left:0">
                     <ul style="margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;list-style-type:revert">
                      <li style="Margin:10px 0 10px 0">
                       <a data-mce-attributes-count="1" style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="Making Things Right: Repairing Harms | Common Sense Education">
                        Making Things Right: Repairing Harms | Common Sense Education
                       </a>
                       (
                       <strong>
                        Grade 6
                       </strong>
                       )
                      </li>
                     </ul>
                    </div>
                   </li>
                   <li style="Margin:0 0 10px 0">
                    And it might mean reading a digital dilemma to discuss ways to
                    <strong>
                     stand up for friends
                    </strong>
                    …
                    <div style="margin-left:0">
                     <ul style="margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;list-style-type:revert">
                      <li style="Margin:10px 0 10px 0">
                       <a data-mce-attributes-count="1" style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="S.T.A.N.D. Up to Support Friends | Common Sense Education">
                        S.T.A.N.D. Up to Support Friends | Common Sense Education
                       </a>
                       (
                       <strong>
                        Grade 8
                       </strong>
                       )
                      </li>
                     </ul>
                    </div>
                   </li>
                  </ul>
                 </div>
                </td>
               </tr>
              </table>
             </td>
            </tr>
           </tbody>
          </table>
         </td>
        </tr>
       </tbody>
      </table>
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                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                   Kids probably aren't going to quote the acronyms above when trouble starts (though that'd be great 😅). But addressing
                   <a style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="Digital Literacy &amp; Well-Being Curriculum">
                    cyberbullying and online harms
                   </a>
                   and building a positive student culture needs to include lessons about repairing relationships. Ultimately, they'll learn that
                   <strong>
                    solid friendships will contain forgiveness, understanding, and a willingness to mend
                   </strong>
                   .
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                   <strong>
                    Do you remember how Rowley and Greg mended their friendship?
                   </strong>
                   Well, Greg—like many preteens—continues to be self-centered in most of his efforts, but has a redeeming moment: He sacrifices his "popularity" by taking blame for the "cheese touch." (IYKYK) Then he asks Rowley a simple question to reach out and begin repairing their relationship:
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                   <strong>
                    <em>
                     "So, you want to come over after school and play?"
                     <br/>
                    </em>
                   </strong>
                   <br/>
                   <br/>
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                   Best,
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0;margin-bottom:0">
                   Erikk
                  </p>
                  <p style="margin:0">
                   <br/>
                   <strong>
                    Fun link of the week:
                   </strong>
                   <a style="text-decoration: underline; color: #423FE1;" target="_self" title="Bird🐦: Unsalted Peanuts?🤔 No ,thank you ! 🥴">
                    When we unintentionally offend others
                   </a>
                   .
                  </p>
                 </div>
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                   USE WITH STUDENTS
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                   What Are Online Harms?
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                   Beyond straight-up cyberbullying, what are some other online harms that kids encounter?
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                   DO SOME PD
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                   Teaching Kids How to Repair Harms in a Connected World
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                   Watch this recorded webinar to get strategies to help kids mend relationships.
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